I have been experiencing a
long-term communication break down with my husband with regards to our home
improvement situation. In reading the NVC information and listening to the
YouTube video, I am hoping to apply some of those concepts to try and open the
lines of communication by clearly stating my need for its completion without
using tears, ultimatums, and guilt trips to manipulate him. Asking him to talk to me about his needs
surrounding the issue to see if we can work collaboratively so we both can have
our needs met. I will try to keep the
lyrics from the song by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, “And you know my giving is not done
to put you in my debt, but because I want to live the love I feel for you
(YouTube, 2010)” in mind when I have this conversation.
I
am going to use the NVC at work when dealing with complaints from staff, using
“Requesting what we would like in a way
that clearly and specifically states what we do want (rather than what we don’t
want), and that is truly a request and not a demand (i.e. attempting to
motivate, however subtly, out of fear, guilt, shame, obligation, etc. rather
than out of willingness and compassionate giving). (The Center for Non Violent
Communication, n.d)”. I am also looking
and reading to see if these things could help us with a child in our care that
is having huge behavioral issues. Giving this child the skill to ask for what
she needs could be life changing.
References:
The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.).
The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved fromhttp://www.cnvc.org/
YouTube. (2010). The basics of nonviolent
communication. Retrieved from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-129JLTjkQ
Hi Brenda, I understand from our reading that effective nonviolent communication takes a great deal of energy, the willingness to listen and hear something new. When offended in that way, I want to be right, but Billikopf (2006) says “confronting an issue may require (1) exposing oneself to ridicule or rejection, (2) recognizing we may have contributed to the problem, and (3) willingness to change” (p. 1). If I willing participate, I am not being compromised, I am part of the solution.
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