Happy Trails and Best Wishes

To fellow students,

I have learned so much through each of you sharing with me your insights, perspectives, and experiences.  This sharing is what has made the coursework meaningful to you but also it has enhanced my own understanding through your eyes.  I wish all of you a great journey as you complete your specialization.  My specialization is teaching adult learners in the field of early childhood, I hope to better perfect my skills in writing and presenting trainings and coursework that is meaningful and relevant using what I have learned from you and my own experiences.  My greatest compliment is when someone comes up after a training and says, "I knew what I was doing was good for kids, but you showed me why it is good for kids so now I can better share with their parents the benefits of my own program." or "I never had it explained that way before, thanks for helping understand it better."

You have given me inspriation, enhanced my perspectives, given me your thought and ideas; and finally, you have given me a part of  you and I thank you for that.

Best wishes in your continued journey towards your Masters program completion.

Brenda

Adjourning....a final goodbye

            In my experience the groups or teams that are the hardest to leave are those in which close personal as well as group relationships were formed.  The Iowa Voices for Quality Childcare (IAVQCC), a non-profit that I helped found was started by 11 family child care providers, six of whom I had a friendship with in addition to founding the group.  This contributed to the success of the group, but also made it the hardest one to leave.  We decided to order engraved charms with IAVQCC on one side and our name on the other.  A small memento that we could have to remember all we had accomplished with that group in the short seven years we were operating.  We chose to dissolve the non-profit because we did not have any members who wanted to commit to the leadership positions needed to keep it going.

            I recently left my job of five years due to health issues not because I wanted to leave it.  I had formed some close bonds with many of the staff and clients I served.  I miss them very much and have managed to come back for some contracted training work so I get to see them occasionally.  Each time I see them or talk to them it hits hard that I am not still doing the job I felt matched me perfectly.  It’s a little like a mourning process because it not within my choice to leave or stay.   They had a potluck lunch and signed a card wishing me well. 

            I have served on many other committees and teams during my career most of which I left because I needed to focus on other aspects of my professional development.  These were committees or teams I had professional relationships with but not a close personal relationship.  There really was no closing ritual.

            I recently attended a retirement party for a woman who had worked in one childcare program for 40 years.  She was only leaving due to health reasons and not voluntarily.  They held an open house for her to celebrate with the many families who had crossed her path along the way.  There were scrapbooks and fond memories shared along with a memorial fund set up to update the library in the program and dedicate it in her memory.  I cannot imagine working in one job for 40 years and will never have the opportunity to try.  I imagine her leaving must feel like a loss of a family member in some sense.

            I have enjoyed learning about my fellow students and appreciate their efforts in providing rich digital conversations that enhanced my learning experience.  I do feel, however, that I did not form the strong attachments that I might had we all been attending together in face to face classes.  I am a people person, I like to meet people and need to see them visually to cement the relationship. 

            I think adjourning is a way to reflect on the work completed and the measure of its success or failure.  Adjourning is a natural process when you no longer have a time commitment in your schedule and at first it feel weird but soon other rituals take that place and you move on.  I think the adjourning is just a recognition ritual of declaring the value that you and the work you did was worthwhile and significant in some respect.

Non Violent communication

I have been experiencing a long-term communication break down with my husband with regards to our home improvement situation. In reading the NVC information and listening to the YouTube video, I am hoping to apply some of those concepts to try and open the lines of communication by clearly stating my need for its completion without using tears, ultimatums, and guilt trips to manipulate him.  Asking him to talk to me about his needs surrounding the issue to see if we can work collaboratively so we both can have our needs met.   I will try to keep the lyrics from the song by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, “And you know my giving is not done to put you in my debt, but because I want to live the love I feel for you (YouTube, 2010)” in mind when I have this conversation. 

I am going to use the NVC at work when dealing with complaints from staff, using “Requesting what we would like in a way that clearly and specifically states what we do want (rather than what we don’t want), and that is truly a request and not a demand (i.e. attempting to motivate, however subtly, out of fear, guilt, shame, obligation, etc. rather than out of willingness and compassionate giving). (The Center for Non Violent Communication, n.d)”.  I am also looking and reading to see if these things could help us with a child in our care that is having huge behavioral issues. Giving this child the skill to ask for what she needs could be life changing.

References:

The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved fromhttp://www.cnvc.org/

YouTube. (2010). The basics of nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-129JLTjkQ