When our children were young, we played a game while traveling called "tell me a story". The kids and I would select a house or vehicle we saw along the way and begin a story about the family that lived there based upon what we saw. It seemed like a harmless game back then, now I am wondering if I was helping to perpetuate my own biases onto my kids with the activity? I think it could be a useful tool to help my children to understand why we should not make assumptions just on what we see, but rather wait until they have information from a variety of sources and personal experiences before making assumptions.
The other thing I thought of this week was when some employees were taking about a family in the break room. They were discussing at length, their assumptions about a family's right to feeling frustrated with their child's daily temper tantrums (4 years old). They were making assumptions about the family's ability to love and spend time with the child; the families' moral character; the family's mental health in general; and the family's lifestyle. All or none of which might be true, this type of talking could be considered a micro-aggression against the family. Remember Dr. Sue talked about how the dangerous part of micro-aggressions is that they are unintentional or intentional. Even if the family is unaware of the gossip, they can still be hurt by someone taking what is being said and going a step further that could cause a child welfare investigation or police to be brought in. Our thought can harm others spoken or unspoken, if we think it, we believe it and often act on it.
Self-reflecting on these thoughts, really shows me that I need to be a good role model for my staff and curtail any such discussions because of confidentiality but also because of the invalid thought processes that lead to the discussion.
Hello Brenda! Your story reminded me of a conversation I had a long time ago with a co-worker. He said that television shows such as Sesame Street teaches our children to be prejudice and stereotyping. He used the Grouch as an example. ( I can't remember the others, it was so long ago). He said, the character was mean and living in a trash can. Therefore it sent the message that people who are homeless are mean and unhappy. At the time, I thought he was being over dramatic. Now, however, I am not so sure he is wrong and maybe that the television show was offensive to him. What do you think?
ReplyDeleteI think that people can make anything innocent seem dirty and disgusting. If we take a show like Sesame Street, its cast was diverse, this show was about respecting and embracing diversity. Considering children are very literal creatures they would never make the connection that Oscar the Grouch represented homeless people. I think he represented what children needed to see that all emotions are felt even the uncomfortable ones; his character allowed them to understand that it was O.K. to express those uncomfortable feelings and people would still like them. No I do not think there was any kind of a connection there. But thanks for making me think about it and reflect on it.
DeleteGreat post Brenda,
ReplyDeleteWhen I was working in a daycare center I remember the other teachers used to talk bad about some of the parents and would always say what the parents "should" be doing and so on and so forth and they would ask me for my opinion and I would always tell them that's not my place to judge the parents maybe they are already doing all they can afford to do or maybe the parents think they are doing a great job in raising their child - at any rate I think it is very dangerous to stand around and talk about the children's parents - you never know who is around the corner listening or even if one of the staff members have a really good relationship with the parent and that person may go back and tell the parent what was said about them - so yes I stay out of mess like that.
Hi Brenda, I agree that information from a variety of sources and personal experiences before making assumptions. I feel that it’s very sad when someone make assumptions about you are someone else that’s not true. Wonderful post thanks you Jackie
ReplyDeleteBrenda,
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I agree that what we may see is not always what is there. People should not assume about others, but rather get to know them first. I am glad that you have awareness about being a role model and not being biases to others.