Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Experience with oppression (ableism)

My son who had muscle and joint laxity experienced bias and prejudice while in school, especially elementary school.  He had an unusual gait and tended to pull muscles easily, so he could not run as fast or long as other children and was picked on and never chosen for sports teams.  This had a huge impact on his self identity and even to this day at age 31 he struggles with who he is and what he wants out of life.
            The oppression kept him from fully participating in team sports and pick up games.  He would go out for a sport and then be bullied so bad he would hide during practice and then come home like nothing happened.  His diminished sense of competency diminished his equity to participating.
            As his mother, my first reaction was anger on his behalf.  I wanted to protect him just as Nadiyah spoke about wanting to protect her son from prejudice.  I could see his pain over the years and try as  I might I could not help him.  I wish those people would have gotten to know him better, he has so many great traits that go beyond physical abilities.  I feel guilty that I failed him as a mother.

            Perhaps educating the coaches or the teachers on his disability and encouraging him to talk to me about his feelings.  We could also have offered more opportunities for him to participate in other sports.  We did teach him how to roller skate and enrolled him in Tae Kwon Do which he enjoyed and both of those were more about pushing yourself rather than being pushed by  teammates.  The harder thing to change her is the herd mentality of elementary aged children.  Educating the children on treating others with respect, offering them opportunities to process various ways they could include Josh in their acitivities.

4 comments:

  1. Hi Brenda,I enjoy your post being a mother is job ,we try to offered our children the opportunties to give them what ever so that they can be happy .thanks jackie

    ReplyDelete
  2. Brenda
    What a great post. Thank you for opening this conversation my friend has an autistic daughter and I have tried to teach my nephews that we have to respect who she is because at first he didn't understand and do educating him that she special needs he is able to deal with it better. I do think that as educators we do have to teach children I'm not to be cruel and to say things that can be life-threatening are damaging to another student self-esteem. It's unfortunate that your son had to deal with this but think God that he hadstrong parents that exposed to so much more thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Brenda,
    Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us!I also have a similar situation, where my friend has a disability and people discriminate against him. Your son is thankful to have such a great mom like you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Brenda,
    I am so sorry to hear about your son's life experiences. people can be so cruel these days. The fact that most of his incidents happened at his schools, I think that the staff could possibly be part of the blame for not handling the situation of him being bullied. My prayers are with your son.

    ReplyDelete